When I was a teenager – and for about 10 years of my life - the primary descriptor used by my family when discussing me was “selfish”.
“Ugh. You are SO selfish.”
“I cannot get over how selfish you are.”
“I hope you have a kid who is as selfish as you are.”
Obviously I was particularly evil as a teenager – there has never been anyone as selfish and horrible as I was. So, I am pretty aware of how terrible a descriptor it really is.
So why, why, why do I encourage our clients to be selfish?
Except for you. And your needs. And your wants.
I’m not asking you to give up taking care of your kids, your family, your job, your home. I’m not asking you to be 16-year-old selfish Jen Liddy who only thought about what SHE wanted and didn’t consider the outcome. Instead, I’m asking to redefine this word selfish or view it in a different light.
Give yourself the same respect, time, and attention you give to everything else. (At the very least, put yourself on the list!!) You’ll be fascinated, surprised, and warmed by how much BETTER that ‘everything else’ becomes. How much happier, satisfied, and respectful those things become toward you.
Water the garden. Put on the oxygen mask. Put yourself on the list. Whatever metaphor works for you, I don’t care. But please redefine how you view “selfish” because you’re likely killing yourself striving to ignore your own needs.